moose and girl

Things I wish about

I wish that there really were such a thing as magic. Not snap your fingers and a muffelata (with turkey and salami) or a new car appears kind of magic. Or all your dreams come true if you wish on a star magic either. But the kind of magic that lives in every moment from day to day and that is always there infusing people with happiness and kindness. The kind of magic that isn’t wizards or witches or Harry potter or knights on shiny white horses with wings. But magical essence (that such described things bely with you read about them or think about them) that could be instilled in all things. So that when you need a warm feeling from the wind, or kisses from snowflakes or a lost dog waiting under a streetlight to appear and go home with you, those things actually happen.

I wish that life were more like a novel and I were the heroine as opposed to the tired weary shell I have become that gets in her car every morning, drives to a designated spot, gets out of the car, goes to a designated set of places, gets back in the car, goes to bed. I wish I felt like there was some purpose to this banal mundane set of daily life, because right now, I really don’t.

I wish I could crash on a plane on a desert island like the people on Lost and then I could forget about everything that is weighing on me right now like a ton of lead bricks and I could just run around in the jungle in my amazingly clean clothes and hang out with hot guys and drink liquor from a secret stash and get as much sun as I possibly can. You can never have too much vitamin D.

I wish romance were real, I wish love was a real thing. I wish I didn’t feel so disappointed in myself all the time, and I wish that this semester would just hurry up and end. I wish people were desperate and mad and crazy and passionate, like that Jack Kerouac quote I read everywhere all the time. I wish I listened to my own advice, and I wish people would listen better - I mean really listen and not sit there and think about how or why they care or how and what they can do to fix my situation. I wish that eating tasty food wasn’t generally laden with calories (maybe then butter and rice and corn and salmon and cream shouldn’t be so damn tasty).

I’m so frustrated right now, and I’m not even going to get a spring break.

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